Sean Covey’s way of explaining the 7th habit of highly effective teens could not have been a better way of ending this book. The concept consists of renewing yourself, which if I learned anything from this book, it is anything you want to change or improve in your life begins with YOU. YOU must know what you want and what’s better for you. YOU must take action.
Covey uses a metaphor throughout the whole chapter which describes us trying to cut down a tree with an unsharpened saw. If we would just sharpen the saw, we’d finish must faster. Sean Covey uses A LOT of metaphors throughout this book but this one caught my attention because without reading much, I already felt like it connected to me. During the school year I’m always busy with homework, projects, after school activities and balancing a social life at the same time I never truly stopped to sharpen my saw. In my head I would tell myself, “keep going, you’re almost there. Keep working hard because good grades equal a good college, don’t lose focus.” I recently realized I needed to stop and reflect about everything but, how? If I stop to change my way of being, where do I start? This is where I must thank Sean Covey, because he introduced me to the four key dimensions that I need to turn my attention to: my body, my brain, my heart and my soul. My body represents the physical dimension. This is where I wiped the sweat off my forehead and said, “phew”! This whole key dimension is about eating healthy and exercising, which I practice regularly. Of course, I’m not perfect. I like pigging out occasionally with my friends but as the author put it himself, this is okay. But listen, this doesn’t mean I am completely happy with my body image but as the book saids, “It’s all about how you feel, not how you look.” And I agree with this completely. I feel as though my day is not complete if I don’t exercise which is a good habit my body has grown to have. I don’t make a big deal out of exercising. After trying out a lot of new things, I know what I enjoy doing, so I don’t have to dread anything when I decide to go workout, I actually look forward to it. I play soccer and go the gym and also love going to some occasional yoga classes. If you find what you like you won’t have to think of pain each time you hear the word “exercise". My brain represents the mental dimension. This part of the book gave me a clear idea of what is truly important in life, which is getting a good education or having an educated mind. There are so many ways we can stimulate our minds, such as playing challenging games, watching documentaries or learning how to play a musical instrument. But what caught me off guard was that the simplest, most straight forward approach to expand your mind is to read. I was completely aware that this was a fact but it opened my eyes up to my own reading habits lately because in the last year I’ve only been reading books that I had to read for a class. You see, about two years ago I used to finish a book everything month so after reading this part in the book I’ve decided to make it my new goal to read at least one book every two months. And as for educating my mind, I made another goal to read the top stories on the news everyday to be more aware of what’s happening in the world today (I’ve already downloaded the CNN app on my phone!). My heart represents the emotional dimension. “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.” (Mother Teresa) This key dimension opened my eyes to the relationships in my life and how I am in control of how I want them to be. As the quote explains above, once you have a relationship with someone else, you are now in charge of listening to that person when he/she needs to talk to you, provide laughter when he/she is sad, or just be present when he/she is not feeling themselves. By doing this, when the situation is vice versa, you will also have that person by your side and most importantly, when you put a smile on someone else’s face or give service to someone else, you will feel happier inside. My relationship with a good friend of mine is stronger than ever because we listen to each other and give each other advice whenever one of us needs it. We find time to put things aside to talk to each other which is a huge relief when things aren’t going as smoothly as I hoped they would. It’s those small acts of kindness that I read about at the beginning of the book that fill your heart with warm, positive energy. My soul is the spiritual dimension. This key dimension begins with a few questions, “What moves your soul?”, “What deeply inspires you?”. As a human, we need to feed our souls. By this I mean we need to take time out of our busy schedules and do something our mind and bodies not only enjoy doing but often times are very necessary. Things like meditating, writing in a journal, praying or helping others. My way of escaping is playing piano. When my fingers touch the keys my mind immediately goes elsewhere, somewhere it is not allowed to think about anything else aside from the music coming form the instrument. I crave this feeling so badly when I become too stressed or sad. It is important to find something that inspires you and fills the empty space you feel inside. Nature often helps as well. Try waking up early and seeing the sunrise or finding a quiet place to watch the sunset. This will allow you to appreciate where you are and will literally fill your soul, leaving you feeling more complete than ever. The ending of this book could not have been more perfect. I’d like to thank Sean Covey for giving me hope and direction. Hope that will allow me to want to change the way I speak or listen to my parents. Hope that will allow me to let go of bad habits. Hope that will deposit 1,000,000’s of dollars into my personal and relationship bank accounts. And finally, direction for guiding me through the step by step instructions and tips on how I will get there.
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“We have met the enemy and he is us”. Naturally when you read the title of Sean Covey’s book, the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, you are prepared to read an informational book about the society in which teens live in and how they act or react to certain situations, but surprisingly this is not the case. As you read the book, not only will you be immediately attached due to the graphics, quotes and its entertaining voice but you will learn that all these “problems” in teens lead back to the teen itself. In other words, although it talks about ALL TEENS IN THE 21ST CENTURY, it teaches you more than you ever knew about yourself. Read the quote I stated at the beginning of this paragraph. The enemy is within us. You might be asking yourself what Sean Covey is trying to say here and the answer to that is the following:
Personal Bank Account. This is a concept that was introduced at the beginning of the book that instantly catched my attention. Just like having a bank account where you keep your money and savings, you are able to make deposits and withdraws in your personal bank account. For example, if you have done a good deed today such as helping another person, you feel good inside - this is a deposit. On the other hand, if you have lied to your parents and feel terrible about it, you have made a withdraw. While reading this I began to reflect on my own personal bank account. Am I loaded or am I bankrupt? Am I satisfied with the person I am or am I getting farther and farther away from the person I want to become? Well, let’s see. I believe I do not worry much about what people think of me, which gives me control over myself and the things I do. Cha-ching! I trust myself to make good decisions like when I try not getting frustrated when discussing things with my parents or when I go with my gut in stressful situations. Cha-ching! I feel very goal driven because I am able to priortize when it comes to balancing my social life and school work. Cha-ching! Now, it feels like I’m getting awfully rich here so whether I like it or not, I must face my withdraws. I often times wrestle with my feelings of worthlessness and inferiority, like when I finish a project or assignment, I lack confidence in my work. I get very arrogant and stubborn to help hide my insecurities, for example, when I am in a group project, I tend to take control which is not always the best because if I get lazy I will convince myself and others that what I am doing is correct when there is actually space to check for other possibilities. Wow! This is the most self-reflection I have done in months, and it is all thanks to Sean Covey and his brilliant concept. In life, you are the one in the driver’s seat, no one else. As Covey states it, “All change begins with Y-O-U.” So you might be wondering how to keep a healthy PBA, and trust me, I asked myself the same thing when reading the book, which is why this smart author has left us six tips on how to make small and simple deposits in our every day lives that will lead us to being EXTREMELY rich! To begin with, you must keep promises to yourself. In order to feel in control of your life, you must treat the commitments you make to yourself as seriously as those you make to the important people in your life. For example, ever since my mom gives me money for my weekends, I make a promise to myself to only waste half of it so that I can tell her I have leftover money, which shows I am responsible, and also to have more money for next weekend, so it’s a win-win situation! And remember: once you break those personal promises, you are making a PBA withdraw!! Next, you should try making random acts of kindness. This is one of the most important tips because although these acts of kindness are small, the deposits they will make in your PBA will be big. When helping others, it helps you to focus outward, not inward, however you will feel so good inside knowing you’ve helped someone else. And I’m talking about something as little as holding the door for someone with a lot of things in their hands, or staying after school to give a friend feedback on their work, which is something I’ve done before and I’ve felt really good about it. And remember: keeping to yourself will only cause your PBA to withdraw!! Up next, magnify your talents. This will not only give you an extreme self-esteem boost but will help you make discoveries about yourself that you never knew about! And your talent doesn’t have to be something concrete like playing an instrument or sport, it can be something you are intellectually good at like Science or even having good listening skills. Don’t bury your talents because they can serve for not only yourself but other people as well! Another tip that will definitely deposit greatly into your PBA account is being gentle with yourself. This means accepting that you are not perfect and allowing yourself to make mistakes, and learning from those mistakes. It means forgiving yourself when you mess up. And remember: beating yourself up about something will only make the situation worse and is considered a withdraw from your PBA!! In addition, renewing yourself is also very important. Finding a place where you can escape to where you can relax and think can help a lot. Exercising is another way that helps teens cope with any stress. My personal escape is playing piano. When I play, I can think clearly but at the same time block the thoughts I don’t want to think about in the moment, it is truly my lifesaver! Find your own way to renew yourself to help you find that moment of peace. Finally, be honest. There is self-honesty, which means when someone looks at you do they see the real you? Are you being fake and trying to be someone you’re not? Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” Then, there’s honesty in our actions. If you have been dishonest and have lied to someone else like a friend or parent, the person you are most hurting is yourself because after all, you know when you are not telling the truth and that is something you must deal with all by yourself. Remember: honest is the best policy and lying will only make withdraws from your PBA!! So, I definitely feel like I got a lot out of the first two parts of Sean Covey’s book because not only has it taught me about teens nowadays, but most importantly, it has taught me about myself. It has made me reflect more on the person I want to be and what I love most about this is that I am starting to get an idea of how I will get there, starting with the six tips mentioned above, which I plan on practicing more and more, everyday. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get to where I want to be. But for now, I am very excited to finish the book and learn the final four habits of highly effective teens. |
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June 2016
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