“We have met the enemy and he is us”. Naturally when you read the title of Sean Covey’s book, the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, you are prepared to read an informational book about the society in which teens live in and how they act or react to certain situations, but surprisingly this is not the case. As you read the book, not only will you be immediately attached due to the graphics, quotes and its entertaining voice but you will learn that all these “problems” in teens lead back to the teen itself. In other words, although it talks about ALL TEENS IN THE 21ST CENTURY, it teaches you more than you ever knew about yourself. Read the quote I stated at the beginning of this paragraph. The enemy is within us. You might be asking yourself what Sean Covey is trying to say here and the answer to that is the following:
Personal Bank Account. This is a concept that was introduced at the beginning of the book that instantly catched my attention. Just like having a bank account where you keep your money and savings, you are able to make deposits and withdraws in your personal bank account. For example, if you have done a good deed today such as helping another person, you feel good inside - this is a deposit. On the other hand, if you have lied to your parents and feel terrible about it, you have made a withdraw. While reading this I began to reflect on my own personal bank account. Am I loaded or am I bankrupt? Am I satisfied with the person I am or am I getting farther and farther away from the person I want to become? Well, let’s see. I believe I do not worry much about what people think of me, which gives me control over myself and the things I do. Cha-ching! I trust myself to make good decisions like when I try not getting frustrated when discussing things with my parents or when I go with my gut in stressful situations. Cha-ching! I feel very goal driven because I am able to priortize when it comes to balancing my social life and school work. Cha-ching! Now, it feels like I’m getting awfully rich here so whether I like it or not, I must face my withdraws. I often times wrestle with my feelings of worthlessness and inferiority, like when I finish a project or assignment, I lack confidence in my work. I get very arrogant and stubborn to help hide my insecurities, for example, when I am in a group project, I tend to take control which is not always the best because if I get lazy I will convince myself and others that what I am doing is correct when there is actually space to check for other possibilities. Wow! This is the most self-reflection I have done in months, and it is all thanks to Sean Covey and his brilliant concept. In life, you are the one in the driver’s seat, no one else. As Covey states it, “All change begins with Y-O-U.” So you might be wondering how to keep a healthy PBA, and trust me, I asked myself the same thing when reading the book, which is why this smart author has left us six tips on how to make small and simple deposits in our every day lives that will lead us to being EXTREMELY rich! To begin with, you must keep promises to yourself. In order to feel in control of your life, you must treat the commitments you make to yourself as seriously as those you make to the important people in your life. For example, ever since my mom gives me money for my weekends, I make a promise to myself to only waste half of it so that I can tell her I have leftover money, which shows I am responsible, and also to have more money for next weekend, so it’s a win-win situation! And remember: once you break those personal promises, you are making a PBA withdraw!! Next, you should try making random acts of kindness. This is one of the most important tips because although these acts of kindness are small, the deposits they will make in your PBA will be big. When helping others, it helps you to focus outward, not inward, however you will feel so good inside knowing you’ve helped someone else. And I’m talking about something as little as holding the door for someone with a lot of things in their hands, or staying after school to give a friend feedback on their work, which is something I’ve done before and I’ve felt really good about it. And remember: keeping to yourself will only cause your PBA to withdraw!! Up next, magnify your talents. This will not only give you an extreme self-esteem boost but will help you make discoveries about yourself that you never knew about! And your talent doesn’t have to be something concrete like playing an instrument or sport, it can be something you are intellectually good at like Science or even having good listening skills. Don’t bury your talents because they can serve for not only yourself but other people as well! Another tip that will definitely deposit greatly into your PBA account is being gentle with yourself. This means accepting that you are not perfect and allowing yourself to make mistakes, and learning from those mistakes. It means forgiving yourself when you mess up. And remember: beating yourself up about something will only make the situation worse and is considered a withdraw from your PBA!! In addition, renewing yourself is also very important. Finding a place where you can escape to where you can relax and think can help a lot. Exercising is another way that helps teens cope with any stress. My personal escape is playing piano. When I play, I can think clearly but at the same time block the thoughts I don’t want to think about in the moment, it is truly my lifesaver! Find your own way to renew yourself to help you find that moment of peace. Finally, be honest. There is self-honesty, which means when someone looks at you do they see the real you? Are you being fake and trying to be someone you’re not? Judy Garland once said, “Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” Then, there’s honesty in our actions. If you have been dishonest and have lied to someone else like a friend or parent, the person you are most hurting is yourself because after all, you know when you are not telling the truth and that is something you must deal with all by yourself. Remember: honest is the best policy and lying will only make withdraws from your PBA!! So, I definitely feel like I got a lot out of the first two parts of Sean Covey’s book because not only has it taught me about teens nowadays, but most importantly, it has taught me about myself. It has made me reflect more on the person I want to be and what I love most about this is that I am starting to get an idea of how I will get there, starting with the six tips mentioned above, which I plan on practicing more and more, everyday. And who knows? Maybe I’ll get to where I want to be. But for now, I am very excited to finish the book and learn the final four habits of highly effective teens.
1 Comment
Bon
1/19/2016 12:06:16 am
Renata, you've taken an important piece of this book and given a clear analysis on how it connects with your life. The language you use is engaging and the sequence of ideas clear. The second part of the post, however, felt a bit drawn out. I'm wondering if you could have focused mainly on one of those six aspects and went into more depth with it.
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